Here it is. August 30. My dad's real b'day. It's cold out. Gonna be in the 40's tonight. My pool heater is running non-stop. I hate this weather. A lot. It's still summer! People keep saying that this weather is so nice. Uh, you gonna feel that way come February? We will have had a 2 month summer. Think that might make for an awful long fall/winter. Yuck. I'm not ready to give up the pool. I didn't even get to use it in June. Stupid weather.
I'm in a weird place. I know the surgery with Dr. M was going to be a mistake. Why, I'm not exactly sure. Now, it seems that S isn't so sure about any of this. Great. I just want to attend the next seminar, see if this guy is a freak or not, and get my band. I did all the mental prep. I'm ready. I just had it all in my head a certain way. Now, I have to shift gears. What if the new doc's pre-op sucks? What if his post-op sucks? I like the protein I like. I've done my research and don't want to change now. Great attitude, huh? Well, sue me.
I'll admit that I still have doubts about the band. But I do know a few things. I refuse to diet again. There aren't any other options. I won't do bypass and can't wrap my head around the sleeve. So, what else is available? Nothing, nada, zip. I'm doing this whether S is along for the journey or not. I have to do this for me. I can't hold her hand forever. She certainly seemed interested and ready. I hope she still is. This is my life. I have to do what's right for me. It would be much easier if she was on board. Ugh. This crap just wears me out.
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